Concept for Further Discussion

One concept from the semester that I feel could use more discussing would have to be forms of nonlistening. From my understanding, nonlistening involves anything that is not "physically listening." Forms of nonlistening include pseudolistening, monopolizing conversations, selective and defensive listening, and ambushing. These forms of communication are a hazardous effect on relationships. Specifically, I would like to know more about the specific effects of these fouls in communications on relationships. One that stuck out to me is ambushing, which is listening carefully for the purpose of attacking a speaker. According to this, ambushers specifically listen for information that will be used against the speaker. This is interesting to me because I have seen it used in my everyday communication with friends. It is particularly interesting to learn more because I would like to know how to combat ambushers and what to do to let it not affect their relationships. 

Feedback for Class

My favorite thing about this Communications class, was it’s online format. I found this class easy to time-manage. Having a full schedule, a job, and managing the responsibilities with being in a sorority, it was easy to make time for this class. Also, I felt the online format was pretty effective. Blogging about chapters we read lead to a personal understanding of each subject. Also, for those who find it hard to share due to their shyness, blogging online about class gave me a wider variety of opinions from students. In on-campus class learning, I feel I only get feedback from the students that are confident with sharing in front of other classmates, but the environment of this online class eliminated that bias. Also, I felt the professor was extremely helpful in her feedback on essays, blog posts, and her willingness to meet with students regarding their grade or any other concerns with the class. 

Communicating Effectively

Something I have learned over the course of the semester, is how to communicate effectively. While I have learned many important things throughout this course, specifically, I have learned how to communicate effectively in romantic relationships. Before, I felt me and my boyfriend were in a semi-dysfunctional relationship. Now, I realize it is just gender differences in communication within our relationship. Specifically, he shows commitment by “doing”, while I always thought commitment was shown through words. He always wants to bond with me through activities, while I thought talking about feelings was the only way to bond effectively. This course has taught me that there are different dimensions to romantic relationships and different ways to deal with them. There are different styles of loving that lead to the growth and overall development of romantic relationships. Learning these different aspects of communications leads to a more effective way of achieving your communication goals with people. 

Vital Marriage vs. Conflict-Habituated Marriage

Something I found interesting from this week’s reading, was a few different types of relationships as identified by a team of researchers in the 1960s. According to the researchers, there are five different types of relationships: vital marriage, total marriage, passive-congenial marriage, devitalized marriage, and conflict-habituated marriage. Two that stuck out in my mind were vital marriages, and conflict-habituated marriages. In a vital marriage, the couple is emotionally close. They also enjoy physically being with each other. Their source of satisfaction revolves around their relationship. To me this seems like an extremely positive, loving relationship. On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have conflict-habituated marriages. Partners are usually incompatible in these types of relationships. They usually only remain together for the sake of the children, or finances. The text states that the primary dynamic between these couples is conflict. This relationship is way more negative than a vital marriage. 

Marriage 50 Years From Now

Based on cultural trends and evolving values of our generation, I think divorce rates will climb even more over the next 50 years. The textbook stated that approximately 50% of marriages will result in divorce, and 60% of remarriages will result in another divorce. I think marriage has changed because we no longer value commitment. Most people don’t understand the responsibilities that come along with commitment, and therefore marry without the intention of staying together. Also, people can be marrying for the wrong reason. Perhaps people are getting married too quickly without getting to know each other better first. I think the statistic of remarriages ending in 60% of divorces is due to the fact that people that have divorced once, are likely to not know effective ways to maintain a relationship, and therefore their next marriage is doomed to fail. I am hoping I am wrong in my predictions and that the sanctity of marriage and commitment will be restored. 

Definition of Family

Family is defined differently to each person. To me, a family is any support system living together under one room. It could be a couple with children, a couple without children, a single parent and their child/children, or even a group of close-knit friends that consider themselves a family. It does not matter whether the couple is heterosexual or homosexual. As long as family members are supportive of each other, I define that as a family. Looking at all the examples of the text, they all seem to be a functioning family to me. Before, I may have only looked at a couple with children, a single parent with a child or children, or any couple as a family. But, the example “a single man who has built close relationships with friends whom he considers his family” now seems practical to me. Another thing I view as family, is an organization. I live in my sorority house, and I see each sorority sister as family. I often refer to my sorority sisters plainly as “my sister,” which confuses those who aren’t familiar with greek organizations. To many people, they’ve thought that I grew up in a huge family with many biological sisters, when in reality I have no biological sisters. 

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